Something's Gotta Give

This Sucks.

Okay I know M gets very annoyed when I think like this but THIS SUCKS! I hate liking people. Absoultely despise it! I lack any control and hiding of my feelings when this happens! Shit why did I let myself get into this?! Okay I'm not in love or anything (TG!) but seriously I don't like when you're at work and you think of that certain someone or when you're actually laying in your own bed trying to fall asleep and that little teenie thought of that certain someone of the opposite sex creeps into your mind.

Thought creeping, thought creeping, "STOP K! Turn over and go to sleep. Power of now. Echart Tolle. You are in bed right now,you must fall asleep right now. Roll over! Think of sleep. Count to 10. Breathe in 1, breathe out 2, breathe in 3, *yawn* start again. Breathe in 1, breathe out 2, breathe in 3, breathe out 4" then the thought creeps back out and I fall asleep.

Honestly, that's too much energy right there. If I don't have enough energy to fall asleep at night how am I going to handle the energy of liking somebody who I know is emotionally unavailable. SB says my emotionally unavailable theory is bullshit and that I AM the one who is emotionally unavailable.

But how can that be?

I know what I'm feeling and I just choose how I want to show it, with that said, even IF I want to show it. SB shouldn't say these things to me, now I'm confused that I like someone but even more confused as to who exactly is EU (emotionally unavailable people not the Eurpoean Union) and how to deal. Something's gotta give, right?! I am so anti everything today. Anti-work, anti-drinking (surprise!), anti-boys, anti-social, anti-responsible and anti-energy!

Hopefully this won't last long.